For those who've been waiting and wanting for the action to kick in, here's your chapter. From here on out, things are going to be hairy...ugly even.

In Chapter Three, everyone's favorite Cajun gets his guided tour of the Pit and meets up with the Joes' resident silent master. Plus, Stalker pays a private visit to the Joes' prisoner.

Check it out at Checkpoint Alpha:

http://www.checkpointalpha.com/wb/pages/dio-stories/hide-seek/chapter-3.php

Then pop back in here and let me know what you think.

Thanks for looking.

WOO-HOO!!!!

I actually like the fact that you've slowed the pace down for the first few episodes-- it certainly gives you plenty of time to establish the characters and the scenario before the action begins.



Lastly, your sets have really gotten much better as time progressed. I love the little details on the wall in the "Wreck Room".

_________________

YES! Looooved the ending, man.

I wasn't too keen on the dialouge used for RnR. It seems too forced.

Otherwise, this was a fantastic chapter and I'm on pins and needles waiting for the next one.

_________________

I kind of agree with Kil about Rock n Roll's dialogue...it seemed a bit TOO "valley boy". Maybe it stands out because the rest of the dialog flows so smoothly, but every time I tried to read his words, it kind of pulled me out a little bit.

Besides that, though, things rolled along nicely in this chapter. Loved seeing all the interactions with the different team members...the "wreck room" looks great, and you shot the scenes in there very well. Bludd's move at the end caught me by surprise, but it's nice to see him getting some credit. Taking Stalker by surprise like that can't be easy.

Nice work, Spin!

Justin

_________________

Thanks for the comments, guys.

I can't take credit for the "wreck room" set. That was crafted by the Master - Cap - and it's easily one of my favorite pieces. It's downright easy to shoot in because there are no bad angles. Every square inch of it is interesting (and you haven't even seen it all yet).

Noted on Rock n' Roll's dialogue. I might have to tone down his blondeness a bit for future installments.



I appreciate your checking this out and taking the time to comment.

The thing about Rock n Roll's dialog was I hadn't noticed the "like"s until this chapter. I need not continue on about it as it's been mentioned twice already.

Other than Rock n Roll and the evil ending, it was a great chapter. OK, so I like cliffhangers, but I hate them at the same time! I love the little touches that you add here and there to show that (most) of the group has been working together for a long time. (the dialog between Stalker and the techs is perfectly natural, like each is reading the other's mind. Great stuff!

I think the only thing that could make me like this dio better would be the addition of my two favorite characters: Mutt and Roadblock, but it will probably have to wait a while to find out if they ever show up. You've mentioned that you're going to keep it down to a small cast.

_________________

That was sweet. I love a good cliffhanger.

Good to see the sets hold their own after all these years.

I'm actually okay with Rock n Roll's verbiage. Perhaps a little more "Dude", as opposed to "like", but all in all, I dig it.

Heh...now I know why it seems off this time. I have been writing Rock more as a "dude" man than a "like" guy. Footloose, on the other hand...

Anyway, thank you, Cap, for the great work you did on this set for me. And the other one (Hawk's office and the briefing room), which I'm still getting a metric arseload of use out of. You're the bestest.

Compelling storytelling, Spin --

I love the video-game match between Zap & GS - the "your Madre" comments were classic.

One thing that bothers me a bit:

Keep 'em coming - I like that you've been churning them out pretty fast lately (didn't even realize Chap 3 was up until a few minutes ago.) Good stuff!

_________________

Okay, good show, a hit, I just like the back and forth with the characters and the Gunny as always never fails to please me. Can't wait to see him in action.

_________________

WOW! I've been away too long. This is great. I love what you're doing with their hands. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to figure out a way of making hand gestures look really and you really hit the nail on the head. This is a great story and certainly something i need to stay up to date with. loved the ending. Great use of figures and sculpts. Bravo!

Awesome, Ray! That was seriously great from every angle- writing, shooting, Dio props, customs.

_________________

Once again, excellent stuff. Stalker's really coming across as I've always imagined him, hard-ass and willing to do what needs to be done. Telling Grunt to "get lost for half an hour" rings eerily of a real-life experience I had during my time in basic training back in '86...

RnR's talk is a bit off-putting, but I like when he uses "dude". Guess 'cause I use it so much.

And hella surprise ending, all right!

_________________

I agree with just about everything that has been said up to this point. The only thing I wanted to add is:

I have been enjoying this story for a while and this chapter was really good. I liked the way the interactions were portrayed as well.

As for Rock and Roll's verbage - if you really want someone to sound like a Californian, they should speak Spanish and less English! Lol, couldn't help it, had to get the shot in

Great work on this, and the sets look really good.

_________________