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 Post subject: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
Well, this was certainly a long chapter in the making. I think that everyone will understand why it took so long once they've seen it. I can only say that I feel the time and effort put into it truely has paid off. Comments are very welcome.

Without further ado, i give to you;

"My Brother's Keeper", Chapter 11: Forced Entry

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:00 am 

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:15 am
Location: Tucson, Az.
I almost forgot about this. Next time don't make us wait so long. Awesome stuff man, awesome stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:03 am 
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LOVES Mattel

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: 123 Carenden Road
That was awesome as always.
Totally worth the long wait!

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You're far too young to be this bitter and angry at the world....


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:19 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
ratm wrote:
I almost forgot about this. Next time don't make us wait so long. Awesome stuff man, awesome stuff.


Well that makes me sad. But I totally understand. Trust me, the set that this was filmed on took a very long time to build. I didn't want to sacrifice the story or quality by rushing. There was also an episode of bursting pipes in my basement last month that threw a real wrench into the works. Lastly, I've really raised the bar of what I expect from myself these days, yes these chapters take longer to put out but I have to believe that it's worth the time in the end.

When it's all said and done, get yourself some beers and sit back and read this start to finish. Because when this Dio is complete, it will be something to be cherished. I promise.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:22 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
Jay wrote:
That was awesome as always.
Totally worth the long wait!


Thanks Jay, I've really tried to step it up. The story was written before I ever started but these days a lot of fine tuning goes into the mix and i finally got mself someone that edits my horrible spelling.

Which reminds me, big thanks goes out to Kane429 (of various Joe boards) who has been editing my work for the last three chapters and who is currently working through the first 7 chapters of Brother's Keeper that weren't properly edited in the first place.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:42 am 

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: San Francisco, CA
Fantastic ending to the chapter, I didn't realize until halfway through that I had completely missed chapter 10. Great Job as usual.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:37 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Yeah, these just keep getting better! The lighting, the sets, the photography - all look totally professional. Like I've said before - you really bring these toys to life in your dios.

Awesome work!

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:21 am 
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Code Name: Speed Bump

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Damn that was fantastic! 8O The writing & stories are worlds better than anything DD's given us.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
Chief wrote:
Yeah, these just keep getting better! The lighting, the sets, the photography - all look totally professional. Like I've said before - you really bring these toys to life in your dios.

Awesome work!


Thanks Chief,

A huge focus of mine going into Brother's Keeper was to really improve the photography or Rapier. I even put myself through some classes and text book exercises to improve, great to hear it shows.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:23 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
Viper wrote:
Damn that was fantastic! 8O The writing & stories are worlds better than anything DD's given us.


You know, I've had a friend editing my scipts for a while now (still have lots to fix in the first 6 chapters too) and we were just talking about my writing style and how it's written as if it's an epic movie or a TV show and not the way a normal comic would read due to their limitations of story arcs and rushed scenes. It's been hard and we've been spending a lot of time to improve some of the gramatical necessities to make it read smoother.

Thanks a lot, it means a lot to me to hear someone enjoys my work so much.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:00 pm 
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Code Name: Speed Bump

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Yeah, I'm sitting at work on my lunch reading it & it's just playing through my mind like a movie. It's got a truly epic feel like watch an old John Wayne movie, back when a war movie was a war movie.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:09 pm 
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Plug
Plug

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Maryland
I think what I like the best about this chapter is all the different vantage points we get. Stuff I've done has a tight shot or an encompassing shot and moves along from point A to point B. You've moved your story along but showed varying angles, but even more impressive, by showing us all the different players.

Specifically having CC reveal a part of his plan to the Tele-Viper only to have that interrupted by the Cobra Sgts arguing about the preferred course of action and bringing C into it was very cool. The BAT firefight scene was something straight out of a movie.

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:37 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: The 19th hole
Absolutely fantastic as always. Definitely worth the wait. Looking forward to the next chapter as well. Your work has been truly amazing.

-Doc

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:05 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
pluv wrote:
I think what I like the best about this chapter is all the different vantage points we get. Stuff I've done has a tight shot or an encompassing shot and moves along from point A to point B. You've moved your story along but showed varying angles, but even more impressive, by showing us all the different players.

Specifically having CC reveal a part of his plan to the Tele-Viper only to have that interrupted by the Cobra Sgts arguing about the preferred course of action and bringing C into it was very cool. The BAT firefight scene was something straight out of a movie.


Very happy to hear you say that. The writing is meant to give you the whole story without feeling like you're being told the story. The filming and set construction is done with the ability of moving 360 degrees around the set, as a primary necessity. And yeah, the BAT scene was me trying to give you guys a serious Action Movie moment.

Viper wrote:
Yeah, I'm sitting at work on my lunch reading it & it's just playing through my mind like a movie. It's got a truly epic feel like watch an old John Wayne movie, back when a war movie was a war movie.


Thanks, thats exactly what I hope for as i make these. Lot's of good story but plenty of BANG for the buck.

afsgtdoc wrote:
Absolutely fantastic as always. Definitely worth the wait. Looking forward to the next chapter as well. Your work has been truly amazing.
-Doc


I hope it's worth the wait, I really get down on myself between these things and often fear that people will forget about my little corner of the joe universe.

Thanks man.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's Keeper" Chapter 11: Forced Entry
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:51 am 
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Thomas from Missourri

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Great to see another chapter from you, VF.

And your form remains consistently excellent.

Ditto pluv's observation on the multi-dimensional visual storytelling. It's like the difference between a three-set stage play and a big-budget location shoot. Both could be excellently written and acted, but there's a little something extra when you feel completely immersed in the environment.


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