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 Post subject: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 5:04 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: New York, NY
The wait is over and the result is a double-sized, action packed, Chapter that I'm extremly proud of. To see Brother's Keeper come to this point is a big accomplishment for me. This has become far bigger than I ever imagined. We are only two chapters away from the Grand Finale! I would recommend re-reading Chapter 11 before starting but it certainly won't hurt to just jump right in.

Cobra is poised to attack as the Joes, on Cobra Island, prepare to face off against 10 to 1 odds in Cobra's favor. The clock is ticking and lives on are the line. Chances are slim and the action extreme in Chapter 12: "Red Sky at Mourning"

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Comments are welcome and appreciated!


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:11 am 
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Awesome chapter! Where did you find that computer monitor & keyboard?


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:55 am 
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HAH!
I love who that Night-Viper turned out to be! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:48 am 
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Goldbug wrote:
Awesome chapter! Where did you find that computer monitor & keyboard?



Thanks

It's Play Mobil. I think they're available over their website. Some kind of Office set.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:13 am 
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More incredible work, VF -- your lighting techniques & photo skills blow me away every time.

Absolutely loved the fight scene between Wreckage & the Night Viper. I finally got around to making a 25A Wreckage - now I just have to give him an unmasked head (damn you for making such an obscure character so cool :P )

So did I miss Pitfall? Was he the guy hiding under the truck?

Great stuff!

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Hawthorne, New Jersey
Perfect chapter, Eric. I wouldn't change a thing. Hope the next installment is in the works ;-) .

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:45 am 
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Chief wrote:
More incredible work, VF -- your lighting techniques & photo skills blow me away every time.

Absolutely loved the fight scene between Wreckage & the Night Viper. I finally got around to making a 25A Wreckage - now I just have to give him an unmasked head (damn you for making such an obscure character so cool :P )

So did I miss Pitfall? Was he the guy hiding under the truck?

Great stuff!


That's what I love to do. Those undeveloped characters Hasbro gives us are prime source for Dio characters. Pitfall was under the truck with Hit & Run and popped out at the end. He has much more involvement in the next chapter.

That fight scene was insanely hard to film and edit but I'm pretty happy with the outcome. Can't wait to see that 25 ann Wreckage.

Glad you enjoyed it so much.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:50 am 
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JFAK075 wrote:
Perfect chapter, Eric. I wouldn't change a thing. Hope the next installment is in the works ;-) .


Thanks and yes the next one is underway. You know, its not that I don't work on these, its that they take a very long time to complete from start to finish. I'd estimate 50 - 70 hours on this last chapter. Add the two kids in the mix and the demanding job and it starts to make sense why these take me so long to get out these days.

Thanks again. I can think of a couple of things i'd change but there has to be a time when you make the creative decision to stop tweaking, I'm sure you know what I mean from the kind of work you do.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:14 pm 
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This is really amazing! Great job busting it loose. My favorite to date.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:16 pm 
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Loved the suspense and the action in this chapter. I worry about one thing, though.


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:13 pm 
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Location: New York, NY
Midgarn wrote:
Loved the suspense and the action in this chapter. I worry about one thing, though.



Here's how I have to see it. The Flagg is completely under the umbrella of the Rapier Machine. Even if they did wake up the Admiral, all he could have done is tried to verify the order which would have been intercepted by Cobra and then reinforced. Assume the Commander did try to verify, again the same response. The idea of the Rapier is that all computer electronics fall under its control, which is why there are hundreds of technicians working the machine. Even if someone decided to pick up a satalite phone to call someone that may have an opinion about the order, again intercepted.

Now keep in mind the military mind set of following orders and the desire to impress and gain the approval of your officers. In my time in the military, I saw so many miscommunications and misdirection caused by the fear of questioning orders that it makes me laugh to this day.

Lastly, take a look at this article that I had Keel Haul personally reference in the Dio for a perfect example of just how possible this really is. Armed Nukes flown over four states. (Makes me feel this part of the story is more possible then any of us would want to believe)

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/10/ ... 6742.shtml


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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:12 pm 
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You know what is amusing? I was just thinking the other day, less than a week ago I suppose, about when the next installment of this would be. Low and behold, here it is!

A great chapter, I love how hardcore Wreckage is, taking on half of a cobra army by himself takes a lot of man-ness.

And...

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:22 pm 
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Plug
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
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I liked the chapter. It had a good mix of action and dialogue. There were a couple of things that bugged me.

The airfield was supposed to be too cluttered with debris and we saw some of it but I was expecting smoke and blown up vehicles and just plain carnage all over the place. All we saw were a few bat parts laying around.

I also didn't like how Keel Haul would call the real life response a slap on the wrist. Navy/Air Force rivalry aside, I think even he would think four commanders being relieved and the entire wing losing their certification to ever touch those weapons again is a serious punishment.

While we aren't at the next chapter yet, I'm pretty sure that chopper makes it to the carrier. I'm also pretty sure any military pilot would take that thing down knowing what Cobra was planning. My he makes a move anyway and dies. That just makes WW decision to use him to begin with questionable.

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:26 pm 
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Rooty tooty point & shooty

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Great stuff, Eric. The dialog and overall atmosphere is near perfect as usual, and the story flowed quite well. Your COBRA ship set is simply astounding. I can't wait until it's wrapped up, so I can go back and read the whole thing over again seamlessly.

Looking good, man.

Justin

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 Post subject: Re: "My Brother's keeper" Chapter 12: Red Sky at Mourning
PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:14 pm 
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tigerguy786 wrote:
You know what is amusing? I was just thinking the other day, less than a week ago I suppose, about when the next installment of this would be. Low and behold, here it is!

A great chapter, I love how hardcore Wreckage is, taking on half of a cobra army by himself takes a lot of man-ness.

And...


Thanks

It's also has a lot to do with the Joes involved being Commandos, and the Night Watch involved being low ranking soldiers working the night shift. The Joes also had time to work on the BATS before they paid attention to them. Remember that Mindbenders orders were to destroy their transport first. He had a very good reason to give the Joes plenty of time to take out those BAT's. This is something that will make more sense at the end of the story.

I know it's difficult because this Dio is huge and you probably haven't read the middle chapters in a while but to sum up; Keep in mind how every Cobra agent was told not to kill Wreckage. Or in some cases, to push him toward the Commander. That Night Viper was acting against orders out of hate and passion. A line from the Commander that's sticking in my head from earlier on (right before he departs Cobra Island) "Send out a few squads to find Wreckage, we should at least give the appearance that we're trying to find him"

Does this help?


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