Many of you guys know Larry Hama is my mentor in partner in MOTH.

I bought two birthday cards for Larry cause I couldn't decide which to send him. I also got him (among other things) a little book on the World's Worst Weapons (some of which inspired GI Joe vehicles, even the Thunder Machine may have been inspired by a crazy British vehicle!)

So I was thinking, sure I'm a week late already, but I could list any of you that requested on the second birthday card. If any of you would like me to add your name to the card, let me know.

Also, I was going to add to the book images of GI Joe's worst weapons, like the football stick, cinder block on chain, and lacrosse stick mace. But I don't have the time. So, if anyone wants to go above and beyond and do a short paragraph write up evaluating one of GI Joe's worst weapons and post it here, I'll include it in the book and credit you.

The card has two elderly white men standing across a fence - one says "Yo Wasssup? I got the 411 that your birthday's coming" The other replies "Yeah, my peeps are going to throw me a bang. It's all good." Inside it says: "Happy Birthday to one forever hip dude."
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I'm looking forward to your responses.

-David

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In all of weapondom is there anything quite as awesome as Road Pig's cinderblock on a stick? Putting aside the fact that it's a one hit weapon at best given concrete's fragile nature, the attachment point between stick and block has to be tenuous at best. Having the brick fall off and conk you on the head or foot has to be just about the most ignoble friendly fire in the Universe.

But apparently Road Pig's not the only one who thinks this is a good idea. In the recent Marvel Zombies series Thor weilds an almost identical weapon once his zombie form is no longer worthy to lift Mjolnir, proving once again that Road Pig is at least as smart as a brain-dead zombie.

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The Fridge's weapon, affectionately referred to as the "football stick" is an interesting melee weapon to be sure. The imposing Bears defensive tackle used this studded football with a metal rope as a mace to intimidate Joes on the obstacle course. Even in this limited capacity the idea of a football player using a football themed weapon is so cheesy one can cut it with a knife and serve it on crackers. They might as well have given him football shaped grenades while they were at it.

Captain Grid Iron's football grenades are another example of getting carried away with a theme. While the football helmet is a unique enough protective armor in the GI Joe arsenal, the football grenades do not make any sense what so ever. You can't even pretend they are shaped that way so they can be thrown like a football because they have a large handle on them so they can be held. The handle would prevent any grenade form being thrown in a spiral or with any accuracy. This is a good example of style over function that cna only be expected form a character named Captain Grid Iron.

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please sign my name to the card, as Jm7o, not one of our 'pet' names.

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Almost forgot, could you sign the card from "That annoying fat guy that sat next to you at the Canadian Joe Meet Dinner and the MOTH party, Andrew Smith."?

Pretty please?

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Tell Larry happy birthday from millions of Norwegian fans.

And about the worst weapons, I'll think about some words on DeeJay's gun, Lightfoot's robot and Buzzer's chainsaw (how is it even going to run?).

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: don't forget me and my gun.

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Worst Weapon: hair5 dryer gun, you may not be able to see the good commander's hair but you know its soft and styled un der that helmet...Cobra Commander was meterosexual before there was a term who else would store a hair dryer on their back


Steve

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If by worst weapon you are also including the comically inappropriate, let's not forget Destro's little pea shooter.

All I can say is that he must be pretty comfortable with his masculinity to carry that "noisy cricket" around when Bludd's slinging a one handed rocket launcher. If I were CC, I'd expect my weapons supplier to tote something a bit more impressive.

As for Larry, please tell him to have the happiest of birthdays from a guy who really only became a writer because of those wonderfully crafted filecard characterizations.

Of course I'd like you to include my name. I don't know about a worst weapon though. Everyone else pretty much covered what I would think of.

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If you don't mind including my name as well, I would appreciate it.

As for the weapon, I think Zarana's razorblade/fanblade on a rifle qualifies.

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All you guys expect me to use your handles? Or are you going to give me your real names?

-CJack

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Didn't some come with a Shark baster?

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NEVER!

wait. that's a mod color....


edit: NEVER!

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Sign me up for this too, Jack, if it's not too late.

As for the worst weapons ever...

At a time when the GI Joe line seemed to be struggling to come up with original and exciting accessories to include with the figures, they managed to come up with a few gems. One of these was decidedly NOT Mace's helmet mounted rocket launcher. Never mind the fact that Mace is meant to be an undercover specialist, and such a weapon is completely inappropriate for this specialty, but it is also the most impratical weapon in the GI Joe arsenal. Also to be considered a single use weapon, as the recoil from firing it would sheer the head right off of the person using it's body, but only after having ignited the head in flames. Talk about friendly fire!

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